Next week is the first week I will facilitate a Women’s Bible Study at my church. Some people call it leading, but I much prefer the word facilitate. Leading seems much too official. I am so excited to be doing this, but at the same time so nervous. The thought of standing in front of forty women has the ability to bring out an unlimited amount of insecurities!
I felt God whispering women’s ministry to me at a Priscilla Shirer conference two years ago. I honestly didn’t have a clear picture for what that entailed and at the time, I was heavily involved in children’s ministry. I also had many excuses for why I wasn’t equipped for this.
Fast forward to Fall 2013 and I had the opportunity to arrange for the ladies in our church to attend a Beth Moore Conference. I honestly thought no one would want to go, but twenty-seven signed up and it turned out to be a great event. Women need the bonding strength of each other’s wisdom, comfort and accountability and bringing women together for an amazing conference helps plant the seeds for those bonds.
At the conference, I heard the whisper in my soul again. I presumed it wouldn’t come to anything and it would be a couple more years before I would actually need to step out and do something. After all, I had plenty of excuses ready to go for why I wasn’t right for this task. God’s timing sped up this time and within a week, I was asked to facilitate a winter Bible study. I have participated but never led and the other voices inside of me grew louder about the things I was lacking to be able to handle this.
I prayed about it and felt I just needed to step out of my comfort zone and do it. I saw a quote by Priscilla that I like that said “Your miracle is on the other side of Just Do It.” I agreed and the study that had already been chosen was right on target.
I don’t think so.
We will be studying Gideon through the aid of Priscilla Shirer’s videos and study guides. Studying Gideon is more than just learning about Gideon. The hope is that we will truly believe and we will know, that we know, that we know that God’s strength is shown through our weakness.
It’s not about how good, or how strong, or how much we have the ability to do. It is about the place where we can’t and don’t have the ability to do something and God meets us right there and carries it through. The problem is we don’t like to admit we have weaknesses and it’s easier to say no in case someone finds out what those weaknesses are. Mine for one was public speaking. It has been something I have been working on for at least seven years due to my job.
Funny how God sometimes chooses to work the things we need for a future calling into our lives through years of naturally working at it and other times his provision is more mysterious. Still, if I think about public speaking too long, it terrifies me, so this weakness I humbly give to Him.
It does seem so much easier when we have everything we need to complete the task. It goes against our human nature to step out in faith and do something beyond our ability. It feels so uncomfortable and so counterintuitive. Fortunately, He is there and gives us everything we need. He does not call us without equipping us. He has infinite resources. We just need to keep our eyes focused on Him. We can see Him work better this way. We know the outcome is His victory and not ours. We learn to trust and rely on Him and maybe, just maybe, next time our trust will come a little easier and our first step won’t be so timid.
I can truly see this is such a beautiful way to live and so very freeing.
What weakness is God calling you to hand over?